Signatures

It started as a joke. But now it has turned into an even larger joke.

Yes, these are the spoof signatures™ I use on Internet forums.

Here follows a (hopefully) comprehensive list of such signatures – or at least all I can remember of them. Some I might not remember.

• Signatures™: the real reason why Bushy and the Bliar went to war.
• Signatures™: why else would Moira [Stuart] have lost her Sunday AM job?
• Signatures™: living proof that you need to get a life and start looking at the actual posts.
• I suppose signatures™ are true to life, but then again, so is diarrhoea, and I don’t want to see that on the Internet. –Patrick Moore’s Brother
• Signatures™: Cyberspace’s greatest mistake.
• Ceci n’est pas une signature™.
• This is a signature™. ON ICE!!!
• Jugalug wrote: I for one would be proud if an extract of what I said were to be used as part of somebody’s signature™.
• Signatures™: The dumbest f***ing idea I’ve ever heard since I’ve been on the Internet.
• Yo. I’m Dave Cameron’s signature™ and I’m just like you.
• I’m sure if you look at this signature™ sideways it’s meant to say ’2012′.
• Here it is. End of the world. Here come… the signatures™! (dances) –The Master’s Forty-Second Regeneration
• “Prepare to die, Potter,” said Voldemort, raising his wand. “Signature™ Visavisum!”
• This is Big Brother, housemates are reminded not to mention their signatures™
• Tonight’s episode of The Teletubbies contains strong language, drug abuse, sex scenes and references to the characters’ signatures™ from the start.
• Nick Harvey wrote: If I was one of those people who regularly changed my signature™, I think I’d use that quote in it for a while.
• bilky asko wrote: If you quote somebody and use it in your signature™, you are admitting that they are cooler, sexier and funnier than you. Which they are.
• BANG! And the signature™ is gone!
• Those using pirated Tinysoft signatures™ are a real threat to society and should all be thrown in jail.
• c** wrote: I’ll bet you he’ll put that in his signature™, as is the latest anti-witty trend (started, ironically, I believe by b****** on t’other place)…
• Status: Jonathan is updating his signature™ (updated 17:07 BST)
• The signatures™ Christmas 2009 Sale is now on! Hurry! Sale ends July 2nd!^†
• Apple iSigtouch: coming whenever we can be bothered.
• Everyone’s copying my bloody joke and all I got was another one of these lousy signatures™…
• EXCLUSIVE in this week’s HEY! Magazine – the pics they didn’t want you to see – exclusive photos of the hottest studs’ signatures™!
• Signatures™: living proof that ignorance is not bliss.
• This is Big Brother 9, housemates are warmly invited to flash their signatures™
• True, you might win an award for it, but… where are the bloody signatures™? You’re fired!
• Source image from Ji Jy on Flickr
• 
• Do you like Twitter? Do you like signatures™? Then you’ll love twitsigntr!

The Boring Legal Stuff

These aren’t actually trademarked. It’s a joke. OK? A joke.

†Signatures are perishable products. We cannot guarantee their survival until Christmas.