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It seems Pat “Dunderhead” Robertson has finally lost his mind completely.

Seemingly discontent with claiming Doomsday in would happen at the end of 1982 (which it didn’t), that Scotland is a “dark land overrun by homosexuals” (which it isn’t), that Hinduism is “demonic” (which it isn’t), that there would be a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest in 2006 (which there wasn’t) and that there would be mass killings, probably nuclear, in the USA 2007 (which there weren’t), Robertson has now made this address on his television programme, in which he announces the cause of the recent earthquake in Haiti:

You know, Christy, something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. They were under the heel of the French. Ahhh…you know, Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said we will serve you if you get us free from the French. True Story. And so the Devil said “Okay, it’s a deal.” and…uh…they kicked the French out. You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other. Desperately poor. That island of Hispaniola is one island. It’s cut down the middle, on one side is Haiti, on the other side is the Dominican Republic. Dominican Republic is prosperous, healthy, full of resorts, etc. Haiti is in desperate poverty. Same island. Um, they need to have, and we need to pray for them, a great turning to God. And out of this tragedy, I’m optimistic, something good may come.

Watch it here if you like (nofollow has been vigorously applied)—it’s about the six-minute mark, and every bit as putrid as it sounds.

I strongly suggest donating to the British Red Cross’s emergency appeal: every penny counts, and Haiti needs our help and attention right now more than this nincompoop deserves in a lifetime.

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41tq9h3awhl_sl500_aa240_I realise I’m rather late in the game with this… but this was just too funny not to be mentioned.

Some Christians are so aggravated by the idea of birth control that they consider it necessary to write about it in ALL CAPS. Or maybe that’s just the way the Holy Spirit types. Either is possible, once you take into account this typographical monstrosity, with the terse title of BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!!

It’s written by one MS ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON who writes the following about herself:

MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG IS A CHRISTIAN EVANGELIST SPEAKER: AND A CHRISTIAN HOLY BIBLE WRITER/TEACHER: CHOSEN AND CALLED BY THE HOLYSPIRIT GOD: MS. ELIYZABETH STARTED TWO CHRISTIAN CABLE TELEVISION PRODUCTIONS IN 1996: CALLED: CHRISTIAN POWER! HEALTH PROSPERITY AND SOUL!! AND > ALSO A: > TEENAGER AND KIDS TELEVISION PRODUCTION CALLED:> CHILDREN RAISED IN THE LOVE OF JESUS. *SHE ALSO STARTED A CHRISTIAN BASE MILITARY CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORES AND MALL CART BUSINESS DURING IN 1991. ALL THREE CHRISTIAN MINISTRIES ARE > NOW ONLINE CHRISTIAN WEBSITES UNDER THE NAMES: http://christianpowerbookstores.spreadtheword.com/ **http://group.msn.com/ChristianPowerHealthProsperityAndSoul ALSO>http://groups.msn.com/ChildrenRaisedInTheLoveOfJesus *MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG: ALSO HAS A 1ST DEGREE BLACK BELT IN TAEJUKENPO KARATE: SHE STARTED A KIDS & TEEN: KARATE MEMBERSHIP & TV CLUB: CALLED: KARATE PLAY: IN 1996-2000: SHE IS NOW: STARTING: RECREATION CITY KARATE CLASSES IN TUCSON ARIZONA: WITH GOALS TO OFFER PRIVATE MEMBERSHIP KARATE CLUB CLASSES. MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON: ALSO PETITION FOR THE MAYOR SEAT IN TUCSON ARIZONA IN 1998. BECAUSE OF ORGANIZED CRIMES, POLICTICAL RACISM AND CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION AGAINST ELIYZABETH: HOLYSPIRIT EVANGELIST LIFE: IN THE PAST 10 YEARS: GOD HAS DIRECTED MS. ELIYZABETH YANNE STRONG-ANDERSON: TO WRITE THIS BOOK OF REMEMBRANCE, AND THIS BOOK OF REPENTANCE: TO HELP SAVE THE WORLD: THROUGH GOD AND CHRIST JESUS: IF YOU BELEIVE: YOU CAN RECIEVE JOHN 3:3-16. *REMEMBERING: MATTHEW 4:17-26: JESUS SAID: REPENT! THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND: **COME AND FOLLOW ME: AND I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN!! MY FIRST CHRISTIAN BOOK IS DIRECTED BY GOD: AND THE TRUE CALL TO ETERNAL LIFE SALVATION IS IN IT: GIVEN TO ME FROM: EMMANUEL CHRIST JESUS: > JESUS SAID: JOHN 14:15-16 If ye love me, keep my commandments.

That is presented as-was, all in one block of text, in block caps. Because, apparently, that’s the way the holy spirit speaks. According to one review, that’s because the Caps Lock LED is actually Jesus’s spirit trying to contact you.

The typographical monstrosity is 648 pages long, and costs $150. I’ve seen cups of Starbucks coffee that are more reasonably priced than this paperback offal.

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