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Damn you, nonderivative licenses.

Damn you, nonderivative licenses.

The FSF is a bizarre organisation. True, its intentions are noble – to develop and promote free and open-source alternatives to proprietary software – but it seems to have completely the wrong idea about the way to go about it.

They’re simply way, way too childish about it. Consider the Windows 7 Sins campaign, which screams, on its front page, that PROPRIETARY SOFTWARE ATTACKS EDUCATION!!! (In big, bold, Time Cube-esque letters, just in case you didn’t notice it.)

A click on the link will reveal the following tract:

Many US states even boast about how they are cooperating with Microsoft, either ignoring or not understanding the corrupting influence that accepting freebies from this huge corporation has on their government. Because Microsoft’s software is proprietary, it isincompatible with education — users are simply passive consumers in their interactions with Windows, they are legally forbidden from adapting the software to solve a particular problem, or from satisfying an intellectual curiosity by examining its source code.

Now, the bit about restrictive licensing, I can agree with. I even sort of agree with the giving-freebies-away thing (I say, writing this from an installation of Windows Server 2003 obtained from Dreamspark – please don’t hurt me!)

However, it then continues:

Free software, on the other hand, gives children a route to empowerment, by encouraging them to explore and learn. Nowhere was the promise of an educational platform using free software more significant than the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) project. Launched by MIT professor Nicholas Negroponte in 2003, OLPC was designed to lead children around the world to an advanced education using the combination of information technology and freedom. The project aimed to produce low-cost devices (starting with one called the XO) so that millions of children could have access to them, and free software, so they would have the critical freedoms to explore and share their software.

Then under pressure from Microsoft, Negroponte backed the project away from its commitment to freedom and announced that the machine would also be a platform for running the nonfree Windows XP operating system.

Microsoft is not the only threat to education — Adobe and Apple are both firmly placed in education, even on Windows. Adobe’s proprietary Flash and Shockwave players and Apple’s QuickTime and iTunes are widely used by educational software.

However the highlighted part qualifies as news is a mystery to me. “X86-powered machine runs X86-compatible operating system.” In other news, “two-legged woman in Ramsgate wears two-legged trousers”, and “sighted man in Putney watches television”.

One of the great things about free software is choice. With enough expertise, you can choose practically every single detail of the system. However, there’s also a choice not to use free software if you want to. This also goes the other way for developers. You have the choice of releasing your software under any free software license you so choose, but you’re welcome to keep the source to yourself if you want to.

Following this, there is a link to an article by Lord Stallmanbeard himself entitled Why Schools should Exclusively Use Free Software. The premise is flawed from the start, but let’s take a look at some of his arguments first:

Schools have a social mission: to teach students to be citizens of a strong, capable, independent, cooperating and free society. They should promote the use of free software just as they promote recycling. If schools teach students free software, then the students will tend to use free software after they graduate.

Hmm… last time I checked, teaching students to be citizens of a strong, capable, independent, cooperating and free society didn’t consist of being sat through endless hours of furiously scribing “I MUST RECYCLE,” or “I MUST ALWAYS BUY FAIRTRADE,” or “I WILL NEVER GET INTO A PRIVATE CAR AS LONG AS I LIVE FOR THE GOOD OF THE ENVIRONMENT.”

This is the thing: he’s proposing fighting the alleged “indoctrination” of schoolchildren into using BorgWord and related software, by getting them to indoctrinate children into using OpenOffice instead. It’s hypocritical tit-for-tat childishness.

He continues:

Proprietary software rejects their thirst for knowledge: it says, “The knowledge you want is a secret—learning is forbidden!”

No, proprietary software says, quite simply, “we’re not giving you the source code to look at because we make money by selling precompiled binaries, and don’t want other people making money out of compiling our source code.” Again, it’s not an excuse I entirely agree with, but the concept that the Borg, Darth Jobs of Cupertino and Monkey Boy all want to turn your children into vegetables is simply not true – and, I don’t know about you, but it has a whiff of conspiracy theory about it.

(Incidentally, he then reaches this astonishing conclusion:

Schools, starting from nursery school, should tell their pupils, “If you bring software to school, you must share it with the other students. And you must show the source code to the class, in case someone wants to learn.”

For some reason, I can’t imagine a four-year-old being particularly interested in seeing the source code of some irritating Flash game based around a talking caterpillar.)

And now, for the more practical reason his premise is flawed. For the most part, a lot of free software simply does not work unless you’re a serial computer-tinkerer.

I’ve already mentioned I’m writing this on Windows. This is for two reasons: 1. at present, I’m in the middle of coding a Visual Basic.NET application in Visual Studio (something which, incidentally, has no equivalent on GNU/Linux, making programming for the system an utter nightmare.) 2. Ubuntu, at the moment, is as sluggish as hell.

Gnash is the finest example of nasty FLOSS software besides Hurd. Touted as a free replacement for Flash, it still can’t even handle most YouTube videos without muting the sound after nearly five years of development – if anything, it’s worse than Adobe’s own (appalling) Linux implementation of Flash.

(It might also be useful here to note that Stallman doesn’t like Silverlight, even though it’s better than Flash from a free software viewpoint, because it has a FLOSS implementation (Moonlight) that works most of the time, and because it’s sort-of open source anyway. No prizes for guessing why.)

It doesn’t stop there. Windows may not have a proper permissions system, and it may need defragmenting every once in a while, but at least Explorer doesn’t take ten seconds to display the contents of a single folder *cough* Nautilus. Hardware support, while improving, is still as shaky as ever, and how anyone can honestly put up with the crap-laden disgrace that is OpenOffice.org is beyond me.

The Windows 7 Sins campaign launched with the symbolic throwing of copies of Windows 7 into a giant trashcan in a Boston park, by a man dressed in a giant gnu costume shouting “GNU wins again!” (which it hasn’t, because people are still using Windows, Mac OS X and plenty of other things that are NOT GNU.) I can’t help but think that if they’d spent the money on hiring programmers instead of an infantile publicity stunt that had no impact whatsoever, we’d be an awful lot closer to something like a better Flash implementation.

Hence, we return to our original point. The FSF is concentrating too much on trying to discredit the alternatives, whilst failing to actually provide anything to replace it that’s any good. True, a lot of free software is brilliant – GIMP, WebKit, GNOME and most of Ubuntu and Fedora are great examples – however, only everything about it gets better than the rest will people start using it.

Cheap point-scoring doesn’t work for the FSF. It works for Apple with those astonishingly smug Get a Mac ads, because they have something that works to replace Windows. A simple visit to the FSF website, on the other hand, will befuddle you with a variety of links to distributions like gNewSense, the probability of which working seemingly depends upon your hardware, the alignment of the stars, and the ratio of milk to cornflakes in your breakfast this morning.

This is mostly due to a cult-like belief that anything so much as tainted with proprietary software (such as all the good Linux distributions) is therefore evil. Hence, you’re pointed back to a distribution that fails to recognise your wireless and graphics card, makes you think (by association) that all free software is shit and makes you switch back to BorgOS.

Guilt by association is another immature frame of mind. Consider this, from Stallman’s own web page on his computer use:

I stopped using the OLPC because the OLPC project made their machine act as a platform for running Windows. Now I use a Lemote machine which has a free startup program and all free software. Since the processor is a variant of MIPS, Windows does not support it.

Again, guilt by association. Because the OLPC can run Windows (and the OLPC project collaborated with getting it to run Windows, for people who wanted to do so) it is, therefore, evil. It’s like a small child saying “I won’t play with little Johnny because his brother Jimmy stole my ice-cream.” It’s like saying that because of 9/11, all people who look slightly dusky are terrorists. Or that because of Gok Wan, all gay people should be thrown off the nearest cliff edge.

With this incessant campaigning (the majority of which is useless, simply because no-one outside the technical community gives a fuck) the FSF is missing the point entirely. With this in mind, here’s my list of wishes to make the FSF actually work:

  1. Get some bloody coding done. Yes, Flash is evil. I knew that. But does Gnash provide a viable alternative until HTML5 finally stamps on Flash’s remains? No.
  2. Recognise that proprietary software, in itself, is not evil. It’s only evil when the proprietary aspects are used to control and monopolise the market.  Therefore, a binary-blob driver for a wireless card, while not necessarily good, is not a reincarnation of Beelzebub.
  3. Stop using the guilt-by-association argument. I happen to think Microsoft Office for Windows and iWork are the two best office suites out there right now, I like Visual Studio, and I also enjoy playing a few games from Steam from time to time. This does not make me a Microsoft whore, so quit preaching that I should only ever use free software.
  4. For god’s sake, be more professional. If you want to peddle free software (providing it’s all fixed, good and reasonably bug-free and snappy) then do so without scaring potential users into thinking they’re supporting a fascist regime by using Microsoft, and don’t do anything as ridiculous as that bloody trashcan again.
  5. Don’t be so arrogant and elitist. The Mac ads are love-it-or-hate-it – many people hate their smugness. Arrogant, holier-than-thou attitudes towards potential users simply alienate them, especially when the software you’re peddling isn’t as good as the one they already had.

Note: I’ve been meaning to write this for some months, and finally hammered it all out in a one-hour spurt during which the word count has steadily shot up to 1768. Cripes…

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Scumgate

David Wright MP might be a very nice man in person. He might not really consider members of the opposition party to be “scum-sucking pigs.” However, it has to be said, he’s not doing particularly well to defend his position.

In response to a trending hashtag on Twitter yesterday, Mr. Wright made this comment:

[you've never voted Tory] because you can put lipstick on a scum-sucking pig, but it’s still a scum-sucking pig. And cos [sic] they would ruin Britain.

It’s an obvious mirror of a comment Barack Obama made about Sarah Palin last year, and with it, it brings in the nasty, American breed of political campaigning, where personal smears, lies and deceitful horseshit is generally the order of the day. This is one of the reasons I’m proud to be British – we could descend into this dung-slinging contest every election run-up, but this fecal peddling is mostly left to the Daily Mail and co.: mainstream politicians are way too polite to do so, and when they do cross the line, there is invariably uproar.

So, naturally, this was a nasty comment that got some attention. So what would Mr. Wright do? Apologise? Publish a retraction? Justify it? Why bother, when you can just cop out and blame it on a hacker?

“I put up on twitter a message linked to Barack Obama’s comment in the Presidential race last year about conservative policy, which is you can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig. It looks like somebody, a third party has gone into my account and made it more offensive.
“I think it was a legitimate comment and I mean twitter is edgy and you know it provokes debate, it looks on this occasion as if it has caused a serious problem and we need to go back and look at that.”

Hmm… I don’t know why, but I (and several others) certainly think I’ve seen this defence before, somewhere. Moreover, Guido has helpfully pointed out that the fact tweets cannot be edited blows an awfully wide hole in his excuse.

This is exactly the reason people lose faith in politicians. In this case, while a simple apology could have been in order, he instead chose to blame it on someone else. Trouble was, this pitiful attempt at arse-covering was so obvious and half-baked it was bound to backfire.

Is there a moral in this story? Yes. Two.

  1. You may disagree with someone, but you’re still British. No matter how heated the discussion gets, you don’t resort to name-calling. This is not a teabagger meeting.
  2. For god’s sake, stop blaming any slightly embarrassing incident on a hacker. It’s not working for Rod Liddle, there’s no reason it would work for you. The electorate is not stupid, and certainly does not like being patronised like this.

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Every morning, five days a week, I am faced with a somewhat agonising decision. Each day, as I pass through Ash Vale Station, with at most two minutes to change to the stopping service to London Waterloo via Woking, I must decide whether or not it’s worth picking up a copy of Metro.

There are several factors I must take into account: what’s on the front cover? Does it pique my interest? Do I have room in my bag, amongst the textbooks, stationery and other trappings of a college student, to carry a freesheet? Is it a slow news day? Is the train departing in ten seconds and counting?

Most of the time, the answer is sort-of, yes, no and no-but-with-no-time-for-complacency-quick-grab-it-now-and-dash-up-the-stairs-to-Platform-1. For all its faults, Metro is a decent paper: it usually regurgitates some semblance of facts without trying to slip in political propaganda, and provides a reasonably broad range of stuff to read through or skip over as you please. And it’s free, so you can’t really complain.

That said, there is one major flaw: the news is always at least one day late. Most of the time, this isn’t too bad, although we’ve had incidents in the past (such as the Balloon Boy situation) where the article was written before the story’s climax (or deus ex machina, in this case.) The commuters of Britain knew Falcon Heene was safe and well (and probably used by his parents as an attention-whoring pawn) as Metro screamed about the fear for the little boy’s life.

Today, though, this lateness played an altogether more beak role. While eating breakfast this morning, I was idly listening to the radio, registering in passing the sad news of the death of charity microlight pilot, Martin Bromage, whose body was later recovered off the French coast.

It is, of course, a tragic case that Mr. Bromage’s attempt (and life) were cut so short, so early in the voyage – and it is perhaps doubly cruel that he was raising money for Help for Heroes in the process. However, after flinging myself out of the front door, hopping on the bus, waiting for half an hour for the first train and rushing through Ash Vale Station’s subway, I couldn’t help but note some grim, ironic humour in this item which greeted me as I opened my hastily-grabbed copy of Metro to page 20:

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

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