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The revolting new retirement homes on London Road

August 6, 2010 in Personal | No comments



The revolting new retirement homes on London Road

Originally uploaded by Jonathan Rothwell

This picture has a bit of a story behind it.

Many moons ago, I was a member of an archaeology club in Bagshot, Surrey. It was held in the Surrey Archaeology Centre on the A30, a disused police station next door to a bar, diner and nightclub-thingy, called The Barn at Pantiles if I remember correctly.

Last time I went to the archaeology club was some time in 2006ish, and at that time the Pantiles was closing up shop. Four years later, I was in Bagshot for a jog, and came across this monstrosity occupying the former car park of the Pantiles.

Retirement homes are never a model of architectural brilliance (there’s one in Camberley that looks a bit like a weird cross between a Spanish villa and an Edwardian cottage) but this one just takes the biscuit.

The surroundings are comparatively mundane, and the landscaping is tasteful enough. It’s on the side of the A30, and a short walk from the railway station and many shops, so I doubt it’s particularly bad for the residents. However, must it be so architecturally hideous?

It looks like this all the way round, with the urbane mock-Victorian and Edwardian walls often giving way to completely mismatched faux Tudor facades jutting out at irregular intervals.

Overall, I think it looks more like a low-rate Premier Inn than a home for the senior.

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Things wrong with the No. 1 bus in Camberley

June 25, 2010 in Personal | No comments

Goldline_exterior
  1. The buses are cramped and hot during the summer months.
  2. The seats are made of leather. Quite aside from the fact this apparently means vegans aren’t invited, their high backs also mean that the only way of seeing where you are is by what’s just gone past.
  3. Instead of Stagecoach’s default livery (a cheery combination of red, orange and blue swooshes), the buses just look like a medical condition.
  4. “Up to every ten minutes” often means “every twenty minutes, followed by three which are running behind.”
  5. Sitting down generally means you end up with motion sickness for any journey longer than two minutes.
  6. According to the destination boards on the front of the bus, my town has been renamed “Cambere|y.”

I’m not saying the No. 1 is bad (no-one calls it Goldline, btw.) I’m saying the buses themselves are some of the most distastefully-designed and poorly-thought-out public transport vehicles since the CrossCountry Voyager.

Even more bizarrely, the “Goldline” brand means that Stagecoach markets this as a luxury route. I’m sorry, there’s no way you can make a bus “luxury” any more than you can make a zerba crossing entertaining.

Images - Arriva436 (Wikimedia Commons)

So Gordon Freeman, Jim Al-Khalili and a shaved Hairy Biker walk into a bar, and one starts playing the piano…

May 19, 2010 in Personal | No comments

Image shamelessly stolen from Facebook

Yes, I had a cold. Yes, I underestimated how much money I’d need and ended up having to blag £1.60 from a complete stranger (who, if they ever read this, might remember me and know who they are, in which case, I thank them dearly). Yes, I spent nearly an hour crammed into a noisy, unpleasant CrossCountry Voyager. Yes, I got lost on the campus of Southampton University. And yes, I spent an hour and a bit waiting for an interchange on the way back.

On the other hand, the evening of Saturday 8 May was spent in the lovely surroundings of Turner Sims in Southampton, quietly sipping some drink to soothe my irritated throat, and listening to the fabulous music of the Neil Cowley Trio. That just about made up for it.

(Well, I lie. It more than made up for it.)

For the uninitiated, the Neil Cowley Trio is [somewhat unsurprisingly] fronted by pianist and pencil-headed Gordon Freeman lookalike Neil Cowley, along with bassist Richard Sadler and drummer Evan Jenkins.

Too many attempts have been made to describe their music, all of which have been rather terrible: there really aren’t words to describe how it sounds. The best attempt I can make is that it’s like sitting at the junction between instrumental jazz and a high-speed railway line. Whilst a jazz trio blasts out music behind you. Read the rest of this entry »

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